


see it with the lights out

by pendules



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendules/pseuds/pendules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Everything's different now, of course. But he could still lose him. Lose him like he's lost everyone else he's ever called family. But maybe - maybe that's a concern for another time. Because they've been through so much already and it's been too damn long.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	see it with the lights out

It's Dean's turn to do the dishes, and Cas follows him into the kitchen, to help or to watch or who knows. They just work in silence, and it's nice, it's good, until - Until Dean dries his hands and turns around and Cas is just standing there and it just comes out.

"You love me."

He expects him to get nervous or deny it or walk out. But maybe those are things _Dean_ would do. He's pretty sick of all of that though, of talking without _talking_ , of Sam's weird, knowing looks across the dinner table, of having Cas _there_ but still feeling like he's lost in some other universe.

Instead he just says, "Oh, when did you figure that out?"

So, okay, they're doing this now. _Really_ doing it. No take-backs.

"I suspected, I guess, somewhere between you betraying heaven and dying, multiple times, and giving up your army for me. But I didn't _know_ until I woke up after - after, well, you know. And I wasn't dead, and you and Sam were there, and I knew I'd be alright. When did _you_ know, for real?"

"The crypt where we found the angel tablet," Cas says, without pausing. Dean raises his eyebrows, because that's a hell of an interesting choice. "I had your blood on my hands and you called me family. I realised then that I'd do anything for you. And I guess that felt like being in love."

Dean can't pinpoint a moment, exactly. But his mind keeps taking him back to looking at Cas in the light of holy fire, hearing him say all these things that were like shards of glass to the heart. And that's probably also an unlikely time, but they're pretty far from normal anyway. He didn't know, until then, how much he'd trusted him, how much he'd depended on him being there. Until he was gone, and the world turned on its head and he didn't know which side was up.

Except maybe he'd never trusted him that far. Because he'd _chosen_ Dean, and he could always choose to walk away. Because Dean could tell him he's family a million times but there would always be a part of him that didn't belong here, will never belong here. And that's how he tried to rationalise it - he wasn't made to care and love and stay. It wasn't because of _Dean_ ; it's just who he was.

Everything's different now, of course. But he could still lose him. Lose him like he's lost everyone else he's ever called family. But maybe - maybe that's a concern for another time. Because they've been through so much already and it's been too damn long.

He pulls him in by his coat, and Cas gasps into his mouth, and they're kissing against the sink, open-mouthed and urgent, like they don't have a second to waste, like they could get caught at any moment, and it's so frighteningly, painfully, beautifully _normal_.

When they finally pull apart, he takes a while to open his eyes.

When he does, Cas is looking at him, the way he does, but a lot closer, and it makes him feel safe, somehow.

"Hey, you okay?"

He nods, because he is, he will be. It all will be.

"Sam's here, and _you're_ here. That's a good day to me."


End file.
